The Ugandan Adventures: Part X: Nine Ways in Which St John's College, Durham, prepared me for Uganda

For those of you who don’t know, St John’s College Durham is a curious mixture of a theological seminary for Anglican and Methodist ministers-in-training, and autonomous college as part of Durham University. It thus manages to combine elements both of secular and religious culture in interesting and eclectic ways. One the one hand you have people who are dedicating their lives to religious service; on the other hand you could have a passionately atheist undergraduate or postgraduate who is only interested in living the student life (I am still unaware of any passionately atheist trainee priests… but who knows?). I myself am a priest-in-training at St John’s, and thought I might share nine ways in which the college has prepared me for this Ugandan Adventure.

1) Climate

I live on D-Floor, in the Cranmer Hall wing of St John’s College. For those of you who don’t know, D-Floor is the hottest singular area upon the surface of Planet Earth. This is because the heat of A, B, and C Floors (which is considerable in itself) rises and conglomerates around my room. Therefore, though it be coldest winter, my window is generally open; and though it be hottest summer, the radiator - even though off - is still hot. This has prepared me well for the African climate: whilst the Ugandans around me my complain that ’Today is a hot day’, I say to them, ‘Nonsense! You should come to the North of England! That’s where you’ll find real heat!’

2) Food.

The food in St John’s College, though diverse, is bound by one substance: starch. Chips and pasta may be eaten on the same plate; vegetables are in short supply. Also, a strangely eclectic combination may be found on the same plate. Ever wanted chips and carrots? Well, come to St John’s! How about a cauliflower quiche? Why don’t you try it? Therefore, when I arrived in Uganda to discover that one could have pasta, rice, potatoes, sweet potato mash and bread on one singular plate, I did not think anything of it. Nor the idea of dipping potato chips into tea, nor the combination of peanut sauce and spinach (which is actually very delicious).

3) Facilities

In my tap in St John’s College, water comes in two types: boiling hot, and freezing cold. Much can be said for the first few days of my showering in Uganda. In both areas, the water from the tap is undrinkable, unless thoroughly boiled before use (though only in Uganda has it the potential to kill you… or was that St John’s?). In both St John’s and Uganda there is a surprising lack of WiFi, though if I’m honest, the developing nation of Uganda does beat the venerable college of St John’s on this account.

4) Culture

In St John’s College, everyone seems to know each other. You cannot walk down the corridor without saying ‘hello’ to someone. Little is different in Uganda; the possible difference is that in Uganda they may say hello, but they might not actually know you. Furthermore, there is a strange mix of cultures in both, in particular the blend of old and new. For instance, in Uganda everyone has the latest technology, though few people have access to decent water and food. St John’s is somewhat similar. In St John’s people dress up in funny clothes for special occasions (academic gowns). In Uganda they also do the same (tribal gowns). In St John’s, if you do anything at all, soon the whole college knows what has happened; the same may be applied in Uganda (hence why in both John’s and Uganda, one must be careful of what one says for fear of offending someone). In St John’s College, it is frequent for older undergraduates to attempt to seduce younger ones, called ‘Freshers’. They name this practice, ‘Sharking’. In Uganda, this is called arrange marriage.

5) Church

Both St John’s College and Uganda are passionately and openly Evangelical. Nevertheless, there are a surprising amount of Roman Catholics in both. St John’s College Communions tends to mix together a bizarre amalgam of disparate styles, including old hymns, modern worship, choir-based anthems, Taize and folk. In Uganda, they also like to combine old and new, brazenly and boldly not attempting to stylistically link them. Both in St John’s and Uganda the services go on for far too long, preachers go beyond their allotted time limit, and the liturgical structures of service in both places are, to say the least, eccentric.

6) Infrastructure

St John’s is arrived at through laboriously travelling across a difficult, narrow and bumpy road. Uganda, it seems, is no different, though this is due to potholes, rather than the city of Durham’s old cobbled streets. St John’s College is based on the arbitrary collusion of several terraced houses merged into one structure. In Uganda, the previous sentence may remain the same as long as the phrase ‘terraced houses’ is replaced by ‘tribes and provinces’. In both St John’s and Uganda there are far too many people crammed in one place for decent living space and, furthermore, both have rapidly expanding populations without adequate housing facilities. Finally, though facilities break down as quickly in both St John’s and Uganda, it tends to be the case that they are fixed with twice the speed in Uganda.

7) Politics

Both St John’s and Uganda have well-publicised democratic bodies which in reality hold little legislative power. In Uganda, this body is called ‘parliament’ - all real power is held by the President. In St John’s, this is called the John’s Common Room (JCR), which is the student representative body.

8) History

Both St John’s and Uganda are prone to outbreaks of civil war in unexpected places. In Uganda, this is a costly and nation-destroying process often between tribes and regions that must be ironed out with the passage of time. In St John’s, this is between the various sectors of the college, as the occasional long-term scrap is often to be found in the break-outs between undergraduates and trainee priests, undergraduates and postgraduates, postgraduates and trainee priests, undergraduates and administration, trainee priests and administration… (the list goes on).

9) Economy.

Both St John’s College and Uganda are nominally self-reliant. St John’s is proudly and happily an autonomous college as part of Durham University; Uganda has been proudly independent since the British Protectorate was withdrawn in the 60s. Nevertheless, in reality, both are heavily reliant on outsider’s donations: in Uganda, this is through aid and investment; in St John’s this is from college alumni and a bigger organisation called ‘Durham University’.

　

The Ugandan Adventures: Part IX: Walking a Pig, and Involving Myself in Ugandan Politics

This Ugandan Adventure has brought a few surprises, not least the fact that I am in Uganda, as originally I was supposed to be in Nigeria. Although a few friends might not put it past me, I did not happen to get on the wrong plane at Birmingham Airport and, finding myself in the wrong country, hastily organised a new placement. No, instead, Nigeria proved itself to be too dangerous for the time being; plus, the Anglican Church of Nigeria was not currently happy with the Church of England, and so decided to cut off links with its English friends. So, instead, through chance, luck, or I as a Christian may put it, providential grace, I found myself in the flatlands of Soroti.

One surprise happened a little while ago. I was happily walking the grounds around the Guest House (commonly called ‘The White House’ by the locals, which I feel gives me a Presidential air that resonates with my experience of being given homage…), when I noticed my neighbour’s pigs happily grazing the ground. ‘Ah!’, thought I, ‘the rustic air! The simple life!’ Seeing as he was the Prison Chaplain, my neighbour’s rural idyll gave me notions of how I could be in my own ministry a few years hence. Suddenly, though, one of the pigs looked up at me. Whether it was from murderous instinct or fear of my overwhelming demeanour, the pig made a charge at me. ‘Ha!’ thought I, ‘You shall not touch me! Your leash, you see, binds you to your ground, whilst I am free to roam and wander!’ Unfortunately, however, murder/fear proved the better of the leash, and the pig pulled it up from its sticking place. But rather than attack, the pig rushed passed me, towards the road. I dashed after it, clutching its straggling lead before a motorbike came whizzing past. To be sure, the pig was strong. I had to drag it at first, before it finally attuned itself to me. And within a few moments, there I was, walking a pig down the road as if it were a dog. I finally managed to get hold of the Prison Chaplain, and together we tied the leash into its sticking place a little firmer, this time.

Another surprise happened this Sunday. After a very bad night’s sleep, I had to awake at 5am so as to arrive at the Cathedral in Soroti for its 6am Holy Communion Service. I had been told that I would have to arrive early, as it would be difficult to get a seat. ‘A slight exaggeration, methinks’ thought I, confident that no one in their right mind would want to be up so early, especially considering that most would have to walk a few hours to get to the Cathedral. ‘A few dedicated souls shall be there, and we shall sleepily share in the sacrament of Eucharist together, wearily sharing the peace, and quietly singing.’

I was wrong. Revd David, the Vicar of the Cathedral, picked me up on his motorbike at 5.50am. It’s the first time I have happened to travel to church via motorbike, though it was made very special by witnessing a ravishingly red-orange-purple sunrise. As we arrived at the Cathedral, the sun was still breaking its red streams through the windows. Inside, however, it was already bustling and crowded, distinguishing it from the sleepy serenity in the outside natural world. A seat had been reserved for me, though I noticed I would be having ushers sitting all around. Considering that the Cathedral can comfortably seat two-three thousand, the fact that people were standing in the aisles, at the sides and clogging the doorways is astonishing. Furthermore, that people had walked miles to get here in the early morning darkness puts shame to those (including occasionally myself) who in the UK complain that a 10am service is too early.

The service, furthermore, was lively and exciting. Even as people received the Eucharist, rather than English reflective (quasi-mournful) style, the music was dominated by energetic and joyful hymns of praise. I rather like the idea: instead of the manifestation of eternal mystery, it evokes an image of the raucous eschatological banquet. When I was asked to give the reading (Romans 12) I even got applause! The subsequent sermon was excellent. Revd Sam, who co-ordinates the diocesan Educational Policy, preached on Paul’s command to ‘be transformed by the renewing of your minds’, emphasising that school education must inculcate values rather than simply imparting knowledge. ‘All education without God produces is clever devils’ he wittily said (debate to your heart’s content…). When he directly criticised the government’s nonchalant approach towards the striking teachers, the massive congregation burst out in applause and shouts of agreement.

As it happens, I was sitting next to a man who I later discovered to be the Ugandan Minister of Government for disaster relief, Musa Ecweru. He himself got up to speak toward the end of the service, an heartily agreed with Revd Sam’s sermon, and distanced himself from his governmental colleagues. (Ah… politics…). Afterwards, I got chatting to him. Which produced another surprise: who would have thought, when I was a simple musical composer before I had had a calling to be an Anglican priest, that in a few years time I would be discussing economic policy and swapping contact details at 9am in the morning with a Ugandan Minister, in the heart of Africa? Life (or providential grace…) produces some fascinating surprises.